I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
