Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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