who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im holly from the hills drunk
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
