I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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