talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
