thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
