Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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