if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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