you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
