apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
