we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
