Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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