i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize