Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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