oh god the rape fog is back!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
