Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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