3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
