Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
