I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
