i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
her vagine was all disorganized.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
