Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
