Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
