sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
