fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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