no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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