It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
