1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
