need another drink. this is the easiest way
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
