Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
