I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
