Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
