Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
