So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize