why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize