I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
vagina is talking i cant
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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