Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize