That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
