Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
