If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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