i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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