Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You've changed since you got that strap on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
