she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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