I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just had sex bonerless
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize