took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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