AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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