Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
