i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
