Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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