He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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