i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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