There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
