at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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