Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
