Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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