Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
